Your love's amazing to me!

2007-04-08T11:54:00.000+08:00

havenot posted for ages! anyway this is just a very really quick post.. i am here to promote my class blog which is still in the stages of construction.. hehe. it's www.31-dearz.blogspot.com . So long L! i plan to do a skin revamp soon. :)

2007-02-09T20:02:00.000+08:00

At j8 with my classmates 0734

Exchanging uniforms..

My Olevel coursework displayed in Cedar!

Me and Nicholyn

The majority of 0734..

O level results is here!!

I GOT SIX POINTS!!! (after minusing four bonus points)

and staying in Nanyang!

Wow, amazing. I actually hit my target score for O's.. that was 10 points.

From 28 in mid year to 16 during prelims to 6 in O levels! :)))

Can't wait for all the fun time i am going to have in Nanyang.. thank You God for prospering me like this! wheee...

*screams and runs around*

I am happy for my class. Becky passed japanese, and 4A (63% distinctions) got 3rd for english in the level on aggregate. Mrs Lam, i will miss you! haha.

Here is the breakdown of my grades!

English-A1 (as expected, Mrs Lam was happy!)

SS/Geog-A1 (totally unexpected.. mrs Loy was shocked)

French-A2 (was hoping for an A1 there..worse than prelims)

E Maths-A2 (whooo!!!)

A Maths-C5 (oh well, at least i passed it)

Chemistry-B3 (an improvement!)

Biology-B3 (no comments)

Art-A1 (and i would have murdered the examiner if he had given me anything less..haha)

that makes it 10 points.. :))

hit my target for Academic Excellence!

i just feel so random now. just completed the registration.^^ whewww.. going to eat dinner.. i feel a bit tired after me and Yu Yang walked criss cross across Toa Payoh (bought stationery and new earrings) *_* still have lots of Art to do! hahaa

and Nicholyn is staying in NY too!! xD *smiles*

2007-02-08T15:35:00.000+08:00

Ah my dears.

This blog needs a reviving. And no better way to do it than to blog about the matters close to my heart!

Love is like a red red rose,
like a gentle breeze on the cheek,
whispering in my ear.
Like one of Shakespeare's sonnets
which bring to life that which was not.
Something which was not there before.
Unsure at first, but enduring in the end,
as Perseus who slayed Medusa
for his Andromeda.
What a great tale that was,
a tale of heroism and faithfulness.
But let us return to the present;
the approaching Valentine
the big surprise
the unfolding of events,
and hopefully the end of the confusion!
For confusion is felt in everyone's heart
once Cupid's arrow strikes.
Well, little Cupid,
we'll leave it to you then,
with a little trust and a little pen
and of course with a cup
overflowing with courage.
Of a different kind.
Valentine is coming next week,
tapping on the door with a sure hand.
Welcome him you people,
it's not everyday that he comes a-knocking!

2007-01-21T11:27:00.000+08:00

I am in church now, doing resource.. for the whole day. Luckily my parents all0wed me to go out (: and for the whole day also. That's a miracle!

I announce that i am a slacker. I spent yesterday evening putting on the new skin, and thus neglecting my art homework.. but luckily school starts at nine tomorrow so i can still finish it.
It's the final design for the mural. During AEP tmr, we will probably check out the walls where we will paint it to. Quite cool (: !!
And my dear friend Jia Ru is my fellow L-luver. Go sister! haha. Whee.. she's letting me see the Deathnote manga tmr!

Cant wait for school! (: Sounds weird, but now i am counting down the hours to when school is going to start. Cos NY is the best!

These are just random talking cos i cant think of anything better to do ah. So long, L. lol.

2007-01-18T16:21:00.000+08:00

I have not been bloggin for AGES.. since i was somewhat busy with all the going ons! haha
In case anyone is blur and still does not know this.. i shall announce..

I AM IN NANYANG JC!!!!

It has been a great orientation, and now lessons have started for the past two weeks. JC life is really much more exciting than secondary school. XD
Lectures and tutorials, and new school song, canteen food.. but the best thing is all the new people who are (mostly) very nice and friendly.
Some of the fun things i did so far-

Played tennis with Rachel, LeeYing and Edy from 8 to 9 am, where we did not have lessons,
Slacked around The Drum(the library) in comfy armchairs listening to my iPod,
Got wet during the waterbombs in orientation,
Giggled with Cynthia about a cute guy she fancies,
Ran around the track for fun with Xin Ni, who is an ex-cedarian,
Listened to Roy talking rubbish,
Spent hours doing my art mural design at home
and in the process of doing a clay artwork with my AEP group! and many more things. :)))

The people here are nice and open. I must say that i prefer NY to Cedar.. But i guess that's the case with JCs in general (:
i happen to have Lily, Xin Ni and HyeiMun in my class. So altogether there are four ex-cedarians! haha. It's fun.

I am hoping and praying for many salvations from NY! All things are possible with a willing heart and the right attitude. ^^

Get a vision and run the race!

2006-12-28T14:26:00.000+08:00

Ages have passed since i last blogged. I wonder if anyone is reading this. Everyone is so busy at the moment..

I never cease to be amazed at the leaders in HoGC. Wow. They are so ready to do anything for God and so bold and so good with their sheep and other people.
Charleston, Dominic, Ivan, Jian Ming... Fedora, Sylvia.. haha. :)
Dear Father, i dun know how, but i wanna be like that too one day. And hopefully sooner than later:) yupp yupp.
Uselessness be gone! That's the worst thing, to feel useless. Very sian. Well anyway. Faith is the thing that carries people through the times of trial, so faith, ENLARGE IN THE NAME OF JESUS!! :) The mountain shall be cast into the sea.

MERRY CHRISTMAS TO EVERYONE! AND CREATE/ HEART AWARDS IS COMING!
I am praying for souls to be saved and lives to be changed. And for God's love to pour down.

One day in the House of God is better than a thousand days in the world.. well i certainly hope it will stay that way.

2006-12-06T19:18:00.000+08:00

You are why I sing,
You are why i live,
everything of me I place at Your feet..
You are why I love,
You are why I give,
Everything of me belongs to You!

:) :) :)
I love to worship Father God. And sacrifice everything for Him. Cos i will not be a robber!
Powerful la today. VBS is great!! Everyday is a new revelation.
Praise and worship. Sacrifice.. yupp.

It feels like breakthrough for everyone, the whole church. Feels like everyone is growing and getting stronger day by day! wow. I am loving church and Pastors more and more. Watta great meeting.
UP ANOTHER LEVEL! This is a defining moment for the church. It's so tangible..
Devil back off, God is in this House! XD

2006-12-04T10:28:00.000+08:00

Today is a monday monday monday. Lucky there is no school yet ah. :) I would oversleep and face the discipline master or what. haha. I am becoming sleepier every day and my hibernation rate has increased to about nine hours every day. ahyo.

Yesterday was cool! Pastor was preaching the third part of the dreams, visions and imagination. What a totally relevant sermon to my life! Pastors never fail to impact me. And of course God too! Pastor was saying how dreams and visions keep us alive and from backsliding.. true true. Cos a man without a vision shall perish and cast off restraint.
I am impacted. I will get my vision back. whee.. :)

God is amazing! I am so happy Seal likes The Simple CD (haha). Whee. Go Seal, bring down the presence of God! :)
Let's really worship God with all our hearts. Cos God looks at the heart, not on the words or how we sing. God likes hearts which are humble and expectant and always relying on Him.
The coming week is gonna be full of worship and the Word and God's presence! I just cant wait for VBS and 24. Tomorrow is my first ever VBS. I pray that all of us will grow through it!!

Dear Lord,
Let our hearts be open and pure to receive Your Word tomorrow and subsequently. We believe that this will be a time of BREAKTHROUGH! Not by our own might or power, but by Your spirit. Miracles will happen! Thank you for all You are, and all You have done. You are amazing. Thank You, in Jesus' name. Amen..

2006-11-30T16:21:00.000+08:00

I am tired and sleepy and i am in Singapore again.
Cos i just returned from Down Under! It feels really weird to come back to my room and type at the same old computer. i will just put down some random thoughts! XD

Sec two Cedarians need to learn more respect
I have had too much chocolate and grown fatter
The plane breakfast was nicer on the way back
I shall be more responsible
I had lots of sleep, and my friend makes funny noises when she sleeps
I got to see real koalas and kangaroos!

It was mostly great, and i will have some fond memories. yupp. XD

2006-11-16T20:15:00.000+08:00

I can't believe it. I have just finished my last O level exam!! Wow. Had three papers today, amaths and chem. Why is it that all the paper twos are always easier than the paper one.. very weird le.. haha. At least amaths and chem was. emaths also.
Now it feels very empty, i have no more things to study for. I can only pray that the study i put into it will pay off and i wont bawl when i get my slip back.. and i also pray that i can get to ny. Yep.. Nicholyn going there also, and maybe Joanna. *smiles*
Drained.. Princess Hours is very irritating now.. i cant stand Xin la. And Caijing likes him.. like wadeva.

Haha. Was hosting tw and seal at my house.. very fun de. XD Am actually surprised Pepicek never bite when he's out of the cage. so now i know. tw and seal, was fun to have you around!! thanks ah.. then went to buy seal's cake.. and lucky the card wasn't found out!! gave me a frighht..

Chem paper two was good! i tot would be more difficult, but i actually knew what they were talking about! And no funny drawings of isomers and esters and stuff!! XD I have Christine to thank! haha.. maybe i will wait for my results before being overly happy.
And i could do amaths paper two also! my paper one i think i lost about 30 marks.. and paper two should only be lose about 15. Praise the Lord!! XD hahaha.
Going worship session tmr, cg and then 4A class chalet. hehe. At Pasir Ris somemore. And sleeping over! *smiles widely*

Life after o's just feels so different. I cant wait for all the amazing things to happen. To dwell in the Presence of God once again. And go Youth camp'06!! If it's gonna be anything like the last year youth camp, then i admit that i am excited! :) wheee.
Cg. Church. Chalet. Youth Camp. Perth. Bali. Nameday. Christmas. Create. WOWW. Just great.

Yeah.. but i dun feel like a cedarian anymore.. but i love Cedar lots. The clocktower is still very attractive. Hmm.. I love Cedar. I will miss being a cedarian. Now there's only Cher and Gurv.. WE NEED MORE REVIVALS LA!!
Whether it's Cedar or NY or SA... Let the revivals come like a big big wave. Let all the sad and lonely ppl experience the goodness of Jesus! haha. I am going to start a revival at NY :)

More anointing! :)

2006-11-11T11:42:00.000+08:00

Just some musings for today.

I am reading some old posts from other people's blogs.. And i am finding out that people who i thought are heartless and uncaring actually used to care in the past about other people they used to know.
It's painful. I see the change in others, from depressed to normal to inspirational. How do they do it? Especially one person in particular. Maybe on the exterior people look normal but they harbor secret emotions underneath the mask..

Ci jsem kamaradka? Mam nejakou nejlepsi kamaradku, no asi ne. Zatim. Ale opravdu doufam, ze se nejaka najde. Nekdo, s kym se muzu opravdu podelit s tim, co si myslim. S nekym,
s kym se citim sva a ..
Myslela jsem si, ze ona to byla. Ale ted ma na starosti hodne jinych veci. Snazila jsem se na to zapomenout. Najit si jine kamosky. Ale jenom s ni jsem se citila nejlip, a mela nejradsi. Minuly rok v listopadu.

Proc na to nemuzu zapomenout? Proc se minulost neopakuje? Bylo to jenom jako?
Why can't I forget it? Why doesn't the past repeat itself? Was it only pretended?

*tears drop down*

I still remember what she said.
"Let's enjoy each other's presence".

2006-11-04T17:14:00.000+08:00

Well this post might seem a little stale. but i am just going to speak from my heartie. and really talk random stuff which comes to my mind.

Recently i have been trying to change, and really try to breakthrough in all the things i am struggling with. ughh. But every major success will have it's setbacks. ( fefe, i feel like tat too). So ya. i guess people are still the same. wont change so fast one.. haha.
And cheerleading myself on is stupid, cos it gets me sad after a while. So have to trust God, my BIG daddy who is always there! XD yeah man. And i also want to be a good friend.

There's just a lot of things on my mind. but betta than last time o cours. I am going to learn to live with it! And conquer eventually.. soon hopefully.. YES YES YESH. grr mann i am so angry at everything now. it's the loathsome devil keeping me down and never failing to provide discouragement when i try to rise up. *punchhh*

I need God's reassurance. and perseverance most of all. PERSEVERANCEE..

P E R S E V E R A N C E.

2006-10-30T10:40:00.000+08:00

I am in the midst of studying.. so now i am taking a short little break. Nope, actually i am going to do art soon again. hur. It's fun, but too much of it is tiring. I still got about three more pages of it to finish!! betta buck up.

A1 for art!! Gotta get A1. If not i will do something desperate. lol. In two more days it will be all over. And then after o's i can start of my Create thingy. yayayayy!
I am gonna have a BREAKTHROUGH in my relationship with God! Cg was awesomee. And Garrett is so anointed. whee.

Be a friend to those in need. Pray for God's anointing and healing power. The scars shall be healed in the Name of Jesus! AMENN! God will make miracles happen.
yeah.. And thank you Seal so much for the hamster stuff, Pepicek (that's the name of it) is totally happy and excited now!! It's like living in a palace to him. Actually i also dunno whether it is a he or a she.. haha.

Tomorrow is a tiring day already. Chem prac, and bein stuck in the stupid hall till one thirty. Watta bore ah. *shakes head*Then YCKG. sigh.
But joy in the Lord transcends all things!, so i shall look forward to it with a pleasant expectation.

2006-10-24T16:53:00.000+08:00

Here are some photos from the sec four graduation.. (that's mrs Lam up there!), Lilin, the Cedar gang, and then we are visiting Zhoumi and Yajing at the hostel. The horrible haze, and a photo collage i put up on my wall. XD

Recently everyone has been very nice to me.. and i still dunno why.. hahas. It's very sudden. But then, i am not so sad anymore! So i am a happy girl now! XD whee. I love my friends and i love God more. To all those who are sad and depressed: God is the answer! haha. So i am learning to dwell in His awesome presence again, do my QT and pray.

Dear God, i pray for a blessing to pay my phone bills! haha. Think they will climb to fifty dollars again or wad. sighh. But that is a SMALL LITTLE TEENY WEENY THING, so i will not dwell on it. yeah!

So i send everyone a very random hug. Fefe, loveya. Seal is awesome. Tingting is so caring. AND I JUST LOVE CEDAR! Although i am not a Cedarian anymore, it still holds many memories. But i also cant wait to be an NYJC-ian. A whole new different environment.

Well. Went shopping with mum today, and bought a new pink nightie and orange bedsheets. Went to the korean place in park mall to eat lunch! chicken bento set no 3 is really the best.. XD Also bought lots of oil paint, paste, brushes, pencils, eraser, varnish, turpentine.. YAYYYAYYY!! When i officially get it, i will really be ready to paint! so exciting ah.

Announcement: i understand electrolysis now! whoo. Gotta jia you and go all the way for my 30 hour study rule. With God all things are possible!!

This is for You God. Thank you for Your presence, that You have returned and not left me alone to cry by myself. Thank You for Your comforting touch, for the new desire to read Your Word and be blessed. Now is the time to go and reach out to those who need You. And too help my friends who may be Christians, but are not on fire.

Your presence fall, I will be waiting on You.

2006-10-20T09:44:00.000+08:00

Just some musings down here.. i mentioned that am going to write some chronicles stuff, well, if i can remember it!! haha. Was a long time ago!

Chronicles of Cedar PART I

My first encounter with Cedar was the sec one registration, the orientation and induction!
Actually when after psle the posting was going to be released, i was not in singapore. (think i was in cambodia); so the teacher called my father on the phone and then i knew! :) hahaa.

Orientation was not bad, we had sleepover in school if i remember correctly. haha. All of us were scaared of the dark dark track and it didn't help that the seniors were telling us spooky stories about it.

During induction, i was like.. wondering if this is the school that i should be in. Cos a girls' school was a novelty idea to me at that time. Where did all the boys go to? haha. As i was a very tomboy, i was scared that i would get sick of the girls and have to bear with it for four years. XD
But the reason i preferred Cedar to my other choices of TKGS, TKS, Zhongua, Temasek, Ngee Ann etc was cos i liked the clocktower!! So cutee. haha.
That was before the school got the not so nice yellow and blue paintover.

My class in sec one was 1H. I was looking around the class, at all the unfamiliar faces, wondering who will my good friends be, and if i would have a best friend.
Let me see if i can remember all the names..

Andrea, bhavani, bianca, yuwen, polly, rebekah, tingwei, the two hui tings, sheena chia, yong en, shakura, shanti, gurinderjit, siti raudah, farhana, liyana, cerlyn, gracia, peiting, gail, jing han, wen qi, regina.. etc..

Suria was in my class for one day, but then she realised she was actually posted to 1A instead. hahas. Later on, i usually hung out with Gurinder and Becky and TW. Liyana, Bianca, Shanti, Gail, Cerlyn were also nice ppl who mostly adored anime. hahas.

Thats it for part one! lols.

2006-10-16T07:50:00.000+08:00

Graduation. It all happened so fast. But one short ceremony is not enough to sum up all the happy and sad times i had in Cedar, all the angry times and melancholy times and lonely times as well.. *sigh*

Maybe i will write the chronicles of Cedar here one day! That would be fun.. :) The four years have been challenging in a great way, and i discovered a lot of both good and ugly things about myself, mostly through relationships.

From the induction ceremony.. orientation, ndp dance, streaming, ltc, oac, melaka trip, langkawi camp.. and blabla. And of course all my friends, classmates, teachers.. i will seriously blog about it soon. Now i am rushing off to help mdm nur transport the olevel art to the marking centre *chokes* i will never see my darling painting again probably. hurhur.

2006-10-09T16:03:00.000+08:00

Listening to Mengenal-Mu.. :) Whee. Brings back memories.

Art workshoppe was greaaat! Pastor Adrienne is really nice and encouraging, and was really inspired about her mini sermon about redeeming the arts for Jesus! This adds a new dimension to my art now. And it's a completely new feeling from the kind of inspiration Ms Jou gives me. Lol.

I feel charged up and ready to impact the arts scene! :) whoot.

God's presence was oh so strong during the sunday service, and saturday praise and worship too. This is the place i love to be, the best place to be! xD
Pastor Don prayed for everyone. Me too.. He was praying and i fell down under the power, but then when i was halfway falling, I heard Pastor Adrienne say 'Paint!'

And yes, i am going to paint; like never before! *laughs*

I pray the person i talked to on the bus today will have a blessed afternoon^^.
And i am going to a special Czech five course dinner on thursday evening!! yeahyeahhh

*calms down*

Off to study maths! ..

2006-10-04T22:26:00.000+08:00

Wow wow wow.

Whee. Full stop.
I am energized and ecstatic and feeling super lame. Hahahaa. *Chuckles*

I dunno why. Maybe it's cos my parents are out. Or that i had sushi for dinner. Or that i returned home at 8 from Bras Basah after an afternoon of art.
Apologies for the lame sentences and words full of redundancy.. but..

I AM HIGHH! My L1R5 is not 17 after all, now it's 16 mannzz!! So nett would be 14. Maybe i can make it to NY for the first two months after all! Now i have a faint hope simmering within me..

NY here i comee! I want the greatest orientation there ever was. Oh yes.

My room is in a healthy mess, which my parents find mildly unsettling. But hey, an artist's room is the epitomy of messy, no? :)

Random thoughts flying around. Here i go.

The beautiful new sofa was unveiled recently, and it's like falling into a mountain of pillows. Mum devised a new way of washing dishes- everyone has to wash his own, even my dad!
I look fat and blurry on the art prep pic i just printed.
My nausea is gone!!
Watched Spongebob.
Art prep is looming. Haven't thought of a title yet. Submitting tomorrow. (yeah so sad ah).
I feel like hugging someone. Too bad that nobody is around. (comm, u want to huggie u too!)
Art workshop on saturday is gonna be amazing!
And i anyhow did my compre and summary today in class.

2006-09-30T09:30:00.000+08:00

Prelims are over.
Doomsday has come and gone.
I have gotten back the results already.. well. Happy about some and not so happy about some others..

English! 80%!!! Whee! That was rather unexpected! Hahaha :) The only A1 in my class. And top few in the school.

French! 75%! Luckily they rounded it up, so managed to squeeze through with an A1. Yays. I love languages!

Art! 75.5% total. Coursework-79%, Paper 2-71%. Sighs. Should have done better. My paper 2 prep was too incomprehensive for the teachers so they only gave me 17/25 for it. So i am no more the top in Art. Sad ah.

Biology. 62% A little disappointing. Hoped to get an A2 for it.

Social studies/geog. Not too good.. 63% Gotta study more ss, and read the question correctly. Sot that next time i will not do an extra essay. lol.

Emaths. Disappointing. Only 51%.

Chem- D7.

Amaths.- E8

My enthusiasm has died off..waah. Still got like 13 more hours to study before church tomorrow. i will manage somehow manz.

So my L1R5 is 17!
That's an improvement from the 28 i got in Midyear. So my goal now for O's is 10!!

On another note.. I was touched by my friend yesterday who gave me an early birthday present! I really needed it! :) Thanks Miss Liying! :) You rocks. Haha.

2006-09-24T20:47:00.000+08:00

I will not be shaken for the Lord is my rock and my fortress.

Just a small little prayer-

Dear precious Lord, i commit everything into your hands, and just want to say that I love You more than anything else. I will trust in You and love You all the more.
I want to build a house not of straw, not of sand, but of strong bricks. (and maybe solar heaters).
Thank You for Your presence which never fails to amaze me.
Thank You for my leaders who are always there for me (when i need therapy).
And no matter what, I will praise You.. for You make the poor rich and the weak strong.

You are an awesome God. Amen.

2006-09-23T13:43:00.000+08:00

I have finally conquered my prelims! Now i am only waiting for the results next week to see and be surprised if i get good grades.. but i think prelims were seriously easier than mid years. And Emaths was easy for the first time in my life!! Haha. Art was good too, hope to be getting an A1, at mid year i only got 70. I will shower some self-praise here- i think my watercolour painting of four apples and a boy is nice! :)

I am looking forward to church and Pastor's sermon on Ministry and S.H.A.P.E. I have read about SHAPE in the Purpose Driven Life, and so i cant wait to be blessed! Cos that's what i need. haha.

Some Bible verses:

1 Corinthians 12:6
God works through different men in different ways, but it is the same God who achieves his purposes through them all.

1 Peter 4:10
God has given each of you some special abilities; be sure to use them to help each other, passing on to others God's many kinds of blessings.

2 Timothy 2:15
Do your best to present yourself to God as on approved, a workman who does not need to be ashamed and who correctly handles the word of truth.

2 Corinthians 12:9a
My grace is sufficient for you, my power is made perfect in weakness.

2006-09-18T19:55:00.000+08:00

It has been a really long time since i last updated! So i am updating now.. after my emaths paper 2 is over finally!! And i am rather hopeful to get at least a B, and i am hoping for A! XD yeahh man.

Listened to pastor's Where's Demas CD. I find it sad. That some people just wanna leave church like that. Is there a reason for it i wonder? Like, why do they suddenly wan to leave? I think it's a long process, and does not only have one factor, but a lot of factors that influence those who later on backslide.

Pastor said that it's drifting away from the presence of God, and yes, i agree. One cant last long without the presence of God, cos then, it's just empty. One will have to force himself to go to church and the passion is bound to wane if it continues like that.
It's also important to have great relationships with other people in church and one's own leaders. Relationships create the sense of belonging to a group, and makes it a joy to come back every week!

Eventho some may not admit it, everyone thirsts for deep and true relationships. I do, and my friends do too. I am not ashamed to say that i need great relationships. I want to be loved and accepted. Included. Not in a superficial way, but from the heart.

It is painful to see people not included. People who want to do something but are not encouraged to, not supported, not ... because of 'structure'.
Friendships should come before 'structure', good friends should not be forcefully torn apart by 'structure'.

Actually friendships, if not tampered with, will form it's own structure. Some people will do this, others will do that. And it's a joy, and not a burden! Cos we know each other so well, and for a long time already.
All the good things bloom in this environment. All envy bitterness is gone; there's no need for it. We are all one team, a group of people working together and having fun and ...

Hurhur. I still dont feel in my environment. And when i do, it's the 'structure' thing again.
Feels like i have one leg here, and the other one over there, and my heart is on no man's land. Disconnected from both worlds.

So i look. Right or left? Where to go? Friends i have known for a long time, or 'structure'?

Don't get me wrong. 'Structure' has it's benefits, but also has two sides to it.
If you are happy with it, excellent! You are set to grow and do many amazing things you have never done before! Inspired and on fire.

If you're not happy.. well.. you can try to make some 'new' good friends, while looking at those who you knew play in their own little secluded field, (and i should add, having great fun). Basically leaving behind what you've known and treasured and which could have developed into great things and exploits.
'New' friends are great to get to know, but i feel that they should not come at the expense of 'old' ones.

I know a song-

Neopoustej stare zname pro nove,
zvlaste kdyz jsou momentalne v nouzi.
Mozna maji pamet jako slonove,
mozna je to nadosmrti mrzi.

Dneska jsi tak uspesny a nemas strach,
zadny hrebik netlaci te v bote.
Zitra budes opusteny stary brach,
zitra budes uz mit hrebik v bote.

A great song sung by my favourite artist.

Don't leave old friends for new ones,
especially when they are in need at the moment.
Maybe they have a memory like elephants,
or maybe it grieves them all their life.

Today you are so prosperous and you have no fear,
nothing is holding you back.
Tomorrow you will be an abandoned old brother,
tomorrow there will be something holding you back.

My cry is that people will not feel unwanted and disconnected, especially in such a great place. Folks may say; you are mature, you must overcome! Jia you!
I dont seek encouragement just for that one occasion, i seek real heartfelt support throughout.
I want to overcome, i am working to overcome, .. but that would make it a whole lot easier.

I may be an egoistic goof full of paranoia, but hey, this is me. heh. At least it's me, before i become an aggressive freako who is bent on revenge. hehheh.

How do i love when i dont feel loved? +++

2006-09-10T18:37:00.000+08:00

Woohaa.
My super slow computer guy is up again! So that means that i can blogg now! XDD Missed blogging mann. Well let's see, lots of things happened!

Pastor Joaquim Lunqvist! TAKE THE SCHOOLS! Wow. The sermons were more like sharing sessions full of amazing testimonies of how ordinary teenagers did and still do extraordinary things for God with such admirable courage. Johan, Jannie, David.. amazing. That teenagers like us can rise up to such levels and impact their world for God. Jannie is a total record-breaker, saving five people in a week?! *endless string of wows*

I wanna do something for Cedar too. Well. Thinks that i have not been bold enough. I really want to see salvations in our school, i am going to pray for a vision! For with a vision comes a purpose, and from a purpose actions are birthed! XD yeahh. Cedar For Christ! The next Cat High and St. Joseph's!

We are going to be more united than ever, come up with brand new fresh unique ideas, and PRAY and PRAY and PRAY even more together. Like we did last year everyday after school.

Last year.. erms. That reminds me! I should not be living in the past, which i have been living for a long time lol. What was last year cannot be the same this year, as there are many different factors to consider now. And people are different. *sighs* I shall not live backwards!!

I will step out of my comfort zone, I will not be affected by what people say or don't say, i will be bold for God and make a difference.
I will pray more, i will be still in God's presence. I will be another Rachel Scott, God bless her.
So on fire, so close to Him, giving up my life.

God, I am here. Send me out there into the world to be the Light for everyone. For my friends, family and all the ones who need love, care and concern.

I WANT TO LOVE YOUR AND OTHERS ONCE AGAIN!! This is the cry of my heart..

2006-09-02T11:29:00.000+08:00

Saturday is my day. hm yeah. Just moved house yesterday morning to a new place in Bishan! haha. The whole process only took three hours.. really fast! there's lots of work to do and clean and scrub.

Sharing testimony today later on, i hope it will be alrite! haha. And i really want to stay for pastor joakim's sermons.. hope my mum will let me!

I am not going to be put down by loneliness, i will be filled with the Holy Spirit and anointing! XD

2006-08-28T22:23:00.000+08:00

Today was english prelims. Wrote some utter rubbish and propagandist blah for the compo, hope Mrs Foo buys it.. yeahh. The rest was okay, but summary, ah the summary- hehee. If i am honest, i only saw one or two points! lol. The paraphernalia was heavy and the waves were transformed into a monstrous yo-yo. I had the urge to laugh during the exam, but that is not advisable, so i giggled under my breath, like this, hehe! :)

Studied in the afternoon with Seal, Tingle and Liying at TP macs. And i am proud to say that i learned a lot, with Liying's help.. thanks Liying! :) Three solid hours of chemistry. I am worn out. I will wake up just in time for chem prac prelim tmr, then two french compos prelim and then being at YCK till ten. Oh joy. I pray that i will not fall asleep at YCK and someone will accidentally drop a dumbell on himself. Bwah. Haha.

Whee and i also bought a new book (finally!) with my $10 Popular voucher from the beginning of the year. A book called Imitation is Limitation by some christian author. haha. Will read! And Harvest Times rockses!

Yesterday was a really powerful QT! wow. Worshipped with the song I could sing of Your love forever, cos i happen to have it on CD! whee. God's presence is so so amazing.

Like a cloud enveloping me.
Loving arms holding me close.
Perfumed air of utter joy.
Thank you God.
It is these moments I live for.

I realised that being filled with the Holy Spirit is the key. Then anything is possible.
Come Holy Spirit.. I long to know You more! Love yaa lotsss! XDD

2006-08-24T22:52:00.000+08:00

1. Humility
2. Persevering spirit
3. Unshakable faith
4. Love for others
5. Holy Spirit

These are the things that i felt God speaking to me, which i will need to rise up. God never fails to surprise and help me! Cos He is just so amazing. :)

A dark overcast sky with a large swarm of black bees buzzing menacingly. Then the clouds are parted, and a single beam of sparkling light shines through. More and more light shines forth and the bees disintegrate upon contact with it. Gradually they start moving away, and some of them fall dead on the groud.
The sun floods the landscape and shines on the dead bees. It takes a long time to clear them up, but it is done in due time. Now all there is , it is the beautiful landscape, pink and healthy on a 'Perfect Day'.

2006-08-19T09:59:00.000+08:00

I will run to the altar
and catch the fire,
to stand in the gap
between the living and the dead.

Give us a heart of compassion
for a world without vision,
we will make a difference,
bringing hope to our land.

2006-08-10T10:58:00.000+08:00

Another amazing day! XD

I have just realised how Pastors love us so much, and make time for us in spite of their schedules. And what was before is all the more now.
Pastor Lia has a vision of fighter planes launched forth from a hangar, planes which will impact everyone they encounter and change lives, schools, nations and generations!

a decade of dreams. How far have we come! From the humble beginnings of nine to over 400 today.

I am so thankful to God for all that He has done in this House. All the loving and caring people that i know. I will rise up and grow in love for them XD. Cos i have not been loving people enough and can get super tiny ie small at times! haha.

1 corinthians 12:24-25 - But God has combined the members of the body and has given greater honor to the parts that lacked it, so that there should be not division in the body, but that its parts shoud have equal concern for each other. If one part suffers, every part suffers with it; if one part is honored, every part rejoices with it.

This verse really jumped up at me as i was reading it. Must have been God, cos i just flipped to a random page. (:

" And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love." - 1 cor 13:13

I love God, church and my friends! :)

2006-08-05T15:51:00.000+08:00

FOP 2005!

Wow i am looking at some people's old blogs, and am feeling reminiscent about the 'ole' times last year.
Hey exactly a year ago at this time, i was queueing up at the Indoor Stadium with Fe, Rani,
Joanne, TW, Francis and Chek Yeow. I was playing 'guess the capital city' with Fe which is my favourite game.. Does Oslo sound familiar? haha. That's the capital of Norway by the way. Was taking lots of pics too. Francis was telling us all the things he did when he was in secondary school! oh my my! Whatta joker. lol. :) Yeah i still rmb Francis.. And FOP was was wayy cool, esp Delirious? ! Martin Smith is so anointed! :) I rmb i liked FOP so much that i wanted to persuade Tereza to go the next day too.. well she did not but that was expected. So i went by myself and got completely cut off from my fren, so i sat in an aisle seat with a nice auntie. Wasn't as good as Friday 5/8/05 but was still great! hehe.

It's my birthday today! I am officially a year old Christian. XDD And what a wonderful and eventful year it was. WOW.

Though i have to say i miss the old times somewhat. Fe, Rani, TW and me were really united. Even had Nehemiah bible studies after school at that tree place where all sorts of things were falling down on us! haha.

Now that i look back, i was so innocent, so on-fire, so passionate, so disciplined. I can't describe it, it just felt different. REALLY different. Sighs.. lol.
I felt freer then in my relationships. Oh well.

I shall pray that the freedom and love i experienced will come back. That very powerful and unconditional love i used to have. But i have also learnt many things about myself, both good and bad and i have to be thankful for that. There are many exciting things still in store for me and for those whom i know.

I am trusting that the future will be amazing!

2006-08-02T20:31:00.002+08:00

I have finished reading the book i borrowed from the school library! What a great book.. talking about self-esteem and all. It has the things i already know, but repackaged in a new and exciting way. Loves books. Loves books a lot! Cos books are so so amazing, one can learn so many things, have such a great time reading, and also a sense of comfort and familiarity! woohoo.

I am not about to let anyone or anything that they say let me down, cos i refuse to be directed by other people's feelings anymore. So i am trying to find my own feelings now.. :) Gotta search very deeply, yeah, cos if u pretend to be always happy for a long time and ignore your true emotions inside (for the fear that others will not accept you), it will cause one to lose touch with the true feelings. That's what the book said anyway. Me finds it quite true la.. haha. I feel sad for those people who need a boost in the self-esteem, a few people i know of, cos i know what they are going through. And it's not always a happy sight to see them. hurhur.. pray for them i will.
(:
Maths and chem test was a flunkk. Btw. Solomon is a great guy. A really great guy.. how many people would ask for wisdom if u threw riches into the package? And he is so humble before God, like Chew Theng said. Pride will not rise up, i will remain humble always and serve my Lord! Even in the case that i become a leader in the future. Yeshh.

Got to know some people in church that i have never met before. Let me see.. Wei Xin and Kesia and Kai Yuan. She's really nice ! Praise the Lord people got saved during Red Rain! *whee*
And i have a deep dark secret to keep!!XDD Nobody shall find out until the time comes! lol.

2006-08-02T20:31:00.001+08:00

2006-07-31T11:12:00.000+08:00

violynnne in luce's blog now! =)
we are in the skools com lab!
on a random note: i want to eat
barbequed octopus sushi =)

and luces says i like fire =)

2006-07-30T21:58:00.000+08:00

A luminous flame is faintly flickering, as it struggles to maintain its brightness. It does not want to die out. But it seems that the brighter it is, the more shadows it casts.

Nevim co se to deje, jestli jsem to ja nebo nekdo jinej. Citim, ze je vsechno nak postaveny na hlavu. Proc se tak citim vuci nekterym kamoskam.. Ci je to vina? Chci aby bylo vsechno dobre, aby to klapalo, aby to bylo jak driv. Vic lasky, min zavisti. Kazdy ma prece naky plusy a minusy. Ja taky. Driv kdyz jsem poprve prisla, bylo tu vic nevinnosti a kamaradstvi, ted mi to prijde, ze je to jenom tak jako. Mozna je to ten muj vnitrni 'Hlas' co mi napovida spatny veci, ktery ani nemusi byt pravda. At jde do haje ten hlas !! Kamaradka 'Tulen' - jak se asi citi? Zapsala si neco to blogu? Ze ji pry dost dobre neznam.. whatever.. no dobre. Ale jak mi 'Lev' rekl, budu se chovat krestansky.

Now i am hoping to finish the book i am reading, and hopefully learn lots of stuff from it. Lots of GOOD stuff. Stuff i can apply. Yesh. haha.

I still have God. And pastor said it's all about good timing. I found that really impactful. So sometimes even a good thing at a bad time can be a bad thing, I hope to learn from that. And someone once told me that i could practice christian behaviour, and answer to ( the people that irritate me) by doing good. That's what Jesus would have done.

Maybe i think too much, but right now i am wondering what are some people thinking and doing, and what they have thought and done today. And how do i fit into it, if at all. Oh well. God knows, and maybe it's none of my business. I shall go and read Psalms. :)

2006-07-28T15:42:00.000+08:00

Today was a slack day! I managed to get by without falling asleep in bio class.. cos ms tan was back. And also cos i slept an extra hour and woke up only at five thirty! whee..
The new flat is gorgeous! tho the furniture has not moved in yet, i like the look of it. The floor is of polished wood, and there is a really nice ceiling fan too.. hehe. And MY OWN ROOM!! ^^ i am gg to make it a realy nice room, it's a totally different feeling to have an own room. Went yesterday evening to look at it. :) Then forced my mum to go mc's at j8 for dinner, which is a miracle as she hates fast food and anything fatty. At least she finished the chicken foldover. haha.

It makes me wonder. I have been in Singapore for over 8 years now, and the feeling is so totally different than from the first time i came. Everything felt, looked and even smelled different. I know that's crazy, but it's true. I used to have a fear of Asians, and was super super happy when i walked along Orchard and was among ang mohs.lol. And i was really scared of secondary school boys. So i would even cross the road when they walked in the opposite direction. Now i am like, they are not even worth to glance at! haha. Now it appears the other way round; i am at home with Singaporeans and i feel weird when i am with europeans. I am not referring to the small Czech community, i know most of them. But to the tourists and caucasian youths. Talk about culture shock. ..

Me and my mum realized that now there is not much holding us to the CR anymore, only our relatives. There's better education, jobs, political situation, fairness.. etc. I cant stand the cz politicians. Even after right wing ODS won the election by a margin of 5%, CSSD the idiot socialists, will not give in and are holding on to power. Like what the crap. I wanna bash Paroubek and the socialists and communists!!! CR SHALL NOT BE COMMUNIST!! grrrrrrrrrrr. It needs a lot of ordering to be done over there, not least the corruption. bwah. COMMUNISTS AND SOCIALISTS LEFT WING PIGS OUT OUT OUT!!!
- A better health system, not 100% funded by the govt
-cut the corruption
-put a smile on the service sector, and cut the dour grimace left over by the communists
-and competent prime minister who knows what he wants!
NO Spidla, NO Gross, NO Paroubek. aiyoooooo...

I love CR. I dont want her to go down the drain with lousy leadership!!! ODS WAKE UP AND KICK THEM OUT LAA!!
Obcanska Demokraticka Strano, vyhod komunisty a socialisty z vlady!!

Kde domov muj, kde domov muj.
Voda huci po lucinach,
bory sumi po skalinach.
V sade skvi se jara kvet,
zemsky raj to na pohled.
A to je ta krasna zeme,
zeme ceska, domov muj,
zeme ceska, domov muj.

My darling CR national anthem. :)

Haha enough of politics! lol. Weekend is coming! Church is waiting! Service will be amazing! Cant wait to fellowship and encounter God thru praise and worship and the sermon! :))
God rocks.

Lord, i pray that a sense of fairness is established and that CR will successfuly grow and prosper! :) Not backward, but forward!

2006-07-20T20:06:00.000+08:00

Ah my sweet darling Sparklezz is getting a bit of publicity here. He wants to say that he loves you all,but me the most.. hohoho. He's so huggable!~ And a constant companion on my pillow :)
Last time it was Bean who travelled the world with me, now it's gonna be Sparklezz..

Tomorrow is Racial Harmony Day! Whee! I can't wait to see all the beautiful and colourful and splendid and amazing costumes!! I am wearing my mother's punjabi suit, with white slippers and really big hoops. haha. Now who's theh pretty polly? XD
Thankyouthankyou.. i shall be humble.. haha. Gonna capture lots and lots of shots on my cammy-provided people are nice and cooperate.
Me feels like wearing make-up for racial harmony. But the school has other ideas.. maybe if i disguise it they wont see. Oh my, what a badd prefect i am! XD And i like saris!

Btw, i read this interesting book about a personality test, and turns out that i am the 'orange' personality.
Here is what it says:

"Orange personality types are sensing, feeling in their functioning. Their orientation to the world is through people; thus, they thrive on being able to fulfill the emotional needs of others. Their core mental functioning is left-right brain, so they make decisions based on how they feel about things. Orange energy seeks harmony and coopeeration between people, and focused on family and on the builing of relationships that are mutually beneficial. They are emotional people and will use these feeelings as a means of getting others to do what they want. They live more in the present than the past. Oranges become threatened when their security is jeopardized-they are jealous and protective of their things and the people they care about. They are worriers and have a fear of not having enough. They seek social acceptance. Orange energy is friendly , welcoming, and approachable. It is a social, warm colour. The colour orange relates to desire and ambition."

Haha. Quite matching actually..

Heart to Heart with Pastors will be awesommee, the whole saturday and sunday of it! What better way to spend a weekend than in my beloved Heart of God church. :)

2006-07-09T20:14:00.000+08:00

It has been a long time since i blogged, a really long time! so many many things have happened since then which have been really awesome. rite now i am sad to say that i cannot recall all.. yeah i will try tho. lol.

on thursday we had a prayer meeting in church, me , sylvia, fedora and darren. WOW. It was totally amazing laa. i conveniently skipped my french cos of it. seal had to leave early, cos she had cafe training.. the rest of us stayed on. It was one of those pms which are realy unforgettable. The anointing was so strong! It was like all around..Me and fedora were singing random songs according to how the Spirit guided us, in perfect harmony. This is how it feels to be moving in the Spirit? the songs jus seemed to come. We prayed for a lot of things.. mostly faith and rising up and such. And this was the third time i fell under the glory of God without ppl praying for me. First time was in Youth camp that nite with Fe, second time was in cg and now the third time! But not fall down hard, it was very slow and soft like a cushion from God. like wow! Then fe prayed.. all was very unplanned but the Holy Spirit always knows the right things to say! I just cant describe the feeling of the holy spirit! it felt like i was not giving Him enough worship tho i waas doing the best i could.. next time i shall do some crazy thing like run around the room! lol. awesomeness. think all of us were impacted.

last friday was a super busy day, but at least was half day. went church for tuition, and then later went with Seal, fe, darren and kenneth to play basketball. haha was fun! i was really surprised my parents let me.. SET FORTH!! haha.

what happened on sat? oh no i forgot.. i shall blog some other time when i rmb, now i am on a tight schedule. ohya. went for gym attendant orientation. not bad, should start working soon. :)
met Leonard and sam at one at pepper lunch.wow. i have one thing to say, Leonard is amazing and more amazing! he knows just exactly what to say to me, i was nearly crying at one point.. anyway all that he told me is really relevant, and i feel different after he talked. i shall keep tat to myself tho lol. i watched sleepy hollow in the evening. johnny depp rocks!

Jersey Sunday!!
Today i went for adult service! wow. sat in the front row somemore. love th front row man. feels more easy to jump and praise God. ha. Sat beside sis evelyn and Gina. Pastor's sermon was simple and powerful abt Real fans!
It was awesome to see every one wear their jerseys, obviously i was wearing Milan Baros! :) whee. Had face paint too.. painting so many people's faces with france and italy flags was fun! to the likes of Leonard, Ivan, ah cai, the two guy Sams etc. Great!!
Pastor How was really nice.. was sitting realy close to him during adult service. lol. told me some encouraging stuff, and to study more. yeshhh! okie studies here i come! gonna glorify God to the fullest and dont let God and pastor how be disappointed! :)

I love Jesus! i am going to grow and rise up to be a great leader! :)

2006-06-29T13:33:00.000+08:00

It's really interesting to see how different people think so differently in different situations. And it's even more obvious in the same situations. I really feel intrigued by people's thinking. But it's what God gave to each person .. :) Relationships sont tres interessantes.

I am musing as to where do i fit into all of it, what are my relationships like, my character, reactions.. etc etc. How people react. Melancholic, choleric, pragmatic or sanguinic. How do melancholics relate to cholerics for example? Is there a predictable response? hmm..

How do all these character types react when they feel hurt by someone.. Is there a mountain of a difference, or a same pattern?

In the end everything is just some cheam talk, and one has to rely on the inner strength and determination. The substance a person is made of does not only depend on the abilities which they were born with, i believe that everyone has the ability to change with enough desire to change.
But gotta see first if the change is worthwhile.. ask God for advice. Books provide the info, God provides the presence (most of the time) but then that is still not enough to get changed.

Changing is a lot of hard work. Strenuous spiritual and mental exercise, like running a marathon.

A conscious choice has to be made everytime we are faced with a situation. The usual response or the 'changed' response. No matter of the circumstances. Holy Spirit, we need you!!

I hate the sine and cosine graph moods! Swing up one minute and down the next, a never ending string of ones and zeroes. I much prefer the positive straight line graph. Surely making its way towards the highest value of y. Leaving the zero behind. :)

And this is my new motto: Stop dreaming and start working!

2006-06-19T22:00:00.000+08:00

okay, this is a really hurried post cos i only have nine more min till my deadline! i am in thailand in phuket in the resort ,.. me likes the pool and there is a few slides. wahh !
but i am missing everyone in singapore, me feels very sian here. and i brought the homework along too. and turns out i will be missing a zone outing. :( waahh. yepp. i shall have to endure! hehe.
cant wait to get back to service on sunday! whee. its going to be an awesome service la! i am so service starving rite now. ciaoo!

and btw i have faith tat cze is gg to beat italy!!! XDD go czechs!

2006-06-13T13:24:00.000+08:00

Whee haha so i didn't miss the football action after all, though i very nearly did. How thick-skulled can i get.. i thought that midnight was considered to be in the night than in the morning! So i slept through the whole match. But luckily my mother happened to be watching tv last midnight, so she chanced upon the USA vs. Czech Rep match!! And taped it. I saw it today.. whee! Czechs won 3:0!~~ wahahahaaa. Rosicky was the awesome! 2 goals.. hehe. But Koller got injured, i am going to pray that he and Baros can make it for the next match against Ghana which is played on saturday. Go ye Czechs!

Cechy Cechy Cechy!! Kdo neskace neni Cech, hop hop hop! XD

2006-06-12T18:41:00.000+08:00

Yesterday was combine service at Parkview Square! XDD. Whee! It was totally amazing. Pastor preached about the Seed of a Dream, and how young people can rise up serve God, no matter how young they are. Dont wanna get too old, do we to serve God. I cant imagine myself with a walking stick doing resource stuff for example.. or maybe i can but it's rather sad. So! I am going to serve God NOW! :) I really find all the stories of amazing people like Dom, Garrett and Charleston an inspiration. Leading a CG at the age of twelve? WOWW.. :) And now leading zones of over a hundred! (my mum was amazed too when i told her.. haha)

Praise and worship! whee. Me is in love with worshiping God la. And the Dance song was great! And i felt the presence of God so strongly yesterday, and i had another picture in my mind!! XDDD
Firstly there were blurry images, somehow reminiscent of a car window covered in raindrops during a heavy downpour. Then they cleared up and there was a corridor/avenue of trees like in the 'Secret Garden'. And i was standing in the middle of it. Then there appeared this shimmering white cloud (it was really dazzling!) and i got lost in the middle of it.. and it was like all around. Must have been God! It really felt like touching God.. lol. :) Soft and peaceful. Like God was reassuring me that He was there.

The sermon about Samuel was really awesome too. (so i took a lot of notes..) How we have to hear and understand God! Yes.. and pastors prayed for those people who had a dream too! whee. I dun remember a lot of things Pastor Lia said, but she prayed not to compare myself with others. :) yepps. Once she started to pray, i could feel the anointing, haha could feel it even as she was coming down the row! Like it was coming closer.
So when she started to pray, i was like leaning backwards on the usher already. Yep, so then i fell too.. somehow there was this soft feeling also. And falling backwards seemed like the most natural thing to do! hehe.

I have a dream. Somehow the dream is inside of me, but i am just not able to define it very clearly yet.
But for starters, i feel that God wants me to have a more disciplined attitude towards the things i do, the usual everyday things. I think He said that without discipline i would not get far, but if i discipline myself and fortify my heart with faith, i can get very far. So now there is somewhat of a choice. And i am going to make the right choice.. and listen to God.
I have not really thought about what leadership position i would want to take on in the future, but i have to start from the basics and God will take care of the rest of it! Be BIG in my character first. XD
Gotta have a good private life to have a good public life.

For the past few weeks, God has really been moving in my life like never before, i got a lot of revelation about His love and His character. And the services and prayer meetings and cgs have been amazing and full of the Holy Spirit. It's really empowering. XDD Though i still have a lot of things to work on, especially in the relationships and discipline, i am going to trust God that He really has a great plan for me! I am feeling different than before, more peaceful and secure and loving! XD PRAISE THE LORD!!
I still remember my first prayer meeting with Fe, Ying Fang and Joanne in last september on Teacher's Day- God said that when i follow Him and trust in Him, all the things will be very orderly. Like sticks placed beside one another. :)

I wanna say a BIGG thank you to God. THANK YOU !! You rocks. haha.

I have found exceeding joy,
Jesus answered when i called.
This name that has saved me,
pure love that embraced me..

I will lift my head up high,
praising Jesus through each trial.
Though i have not seen Him,
I love Him completely..

My soul magnifies the Lord.
My heart joys in God my Saviour.
For He lifts the lowly,
He's done great things for me!
I will sing, praising evermore
for He is mighty and holy is His name!

Jesus reigns! He reigns, He reigns.. XD

2006-06-05T20:27:00.000+08:00

Sunday service yesterday was amazing! I have just gotten reminded how wonderful and full of power and glory and love our God is! wow. I felt recharged like i have not felt in a really long time! I could just dwell in His presence forever!~

Wow and Emerge was after that! This was my first time going to City Harvest at Expo. Yeah! It's amazing to see so many on fire men and women of God in one place! I went with Guo Quan and Jessie, and we met up with some other HoGC people inside the Expo. To support Joanne! And HoGC won the trailer challenge! whee. How cool is that! :)

I just felt like i could hug God all the time yesterday! And was it my imagination, or was Jessie getting impacted? Haha.

You're amazing, never changing
always with me, enthroned within my soul!
Overflowing, my heart offers the deepest of honor and worship!

Amenn!!

Bzone is watching Xmen3 tomorrow! Oh God, i really hope that it will turn out reasonably fine! And that we will all have funney fun together as a zone! :)

2006-06-02T13:58:00.000+08:00

Yes folks, as i said i am the proud recipient of a flu virus with first class honors. The irritating thing is just there, and although i have been pummelling it with antibiotics and five other medicines, it just bounces back. And all the medicine is really making me dizzy and sleepy.

I don't get sick often, but when i do it's a real onslaught. blah. And germs are disgusting. I have been missing school for a few days, coz my mum would not let me out. And i misses Emerge too. aiyo.

But maybe it's better this way, i feel like a big stick which may keel over anytime. So to prevent injury to others and myself, i shall be safely kept in the cage of my house. That's still not so bad- as my mum was telling me, in HER days she had to lie for weeks in her bed. I would just die!! lol.
I was complaining there was nothin to eat in the fridge this morning (resorted to instant noodles), so mum said she would buy me some nice bun! Me is the glutton. haha.

I pray that i will be well enough to be able to go to church on sunday and go Emerge after that! yeahh!

I have faith that Jesus will heal me! Please please Lord, let me get well and go to church and Emerge after that! :)

Love You lots my dear Jesus! Tata.

2006-05-29T10:21:00.000+08:00

Red Rain was totally awesome! Two days of it.. and i have backache from all the jumping i did. On saturday i was right in the extereme front of the theatre, two metres away from the lead singer Michael Turner. And i jump like siao. XDD Boing boing.

The songs are cool and rocky and anointed. Lemme see-i love- Red Rain, Summer, Oasis, Majesty and Love! birrybangbang birrybangbang.. love the beatXD
On saturday, Kimberly, Sara and Chuanyu'Fish' came. hehe. And i got to know great people like Darren, Jocelyn, Teresa (not my sister) and Gladys! XD And yesterday i met Naomi, Yi Xin, Eng How and Daisy. Awesomeness!

Faith and Prisia were doing weird antics! XD lol running around and snarling and etc.. a free entertainment for us. Over the kfc table, with Fedora stuck in between. Watta laugh! lol.

Towards the end of the concert yesterday, the band invited whoever wants to come up onstage to dance and scream and shout. And of course i went, after unsuccessfully trying to pull Tereza and Guo Quan. lol. Boing boing boing, up and down, up and down i go. Whee! Was jumping around like siao with Winnie and Pam and Jonathan amongst a mass of people. But i realised that it is scary to sing onstage, especially as i could not see the faces in the audience. But for now i am content with jumping! XD

I was high!

Blue skies and long hot summer days,
white sands and surfing in the bays!

I can see Red, raining down on me,
as far as the eye can see.
I see Red raining down!

Oasis in the desert, walk on the narrow road!

Red Rain was the beste!

2006-05-26T11:51:00.001+08:00

Today is teh last day of school before the holidays. Just in case anyone is wondering. And that mesns its quite slack.. just for today. The weekend is gonna be really busy with all the awesome RED RAIN concerts!! woohoo. ^^ I love rock concerts la!

Days seem to pass by so fast.. it is just unearthy. it seems like yesterday since i first came to Cedar and was sitting in the hall with my mum, wondering if choosing a girls school was the right choice; and deciding that i would have to pull through the four years even if i did not like it. The confusion of the first few weeks and getting to know my classmates. The first person i came into contact with in Cedar was incidentally Suria, who came to the wrong class. And once i got to know her, she left. Well. Then i got to know Gurinderjit and Becky and Ting Wei and Liyana and Shakura.

Track/ cross country was the worst thing on earth and i hated the trainings, but one could see that my stamina was getting better with all the running at macritchie. Lemme rmb.. All the nice xctr people were Lilin, Jean, Debra, Shakura and Pei Ting and Yong En. I could not be bothered to get to know people like Sam and Natasha and Valerie. As one by one the original xctr people left for other ccas, i was left alone with Shakura; and in the end she went to vjc. So i quit too.. :)

French was totally fun fun fun, monsieur Dremaux was totally funny and nice and even bought us all a cake on the first lesson. He called us all by French names..(Simone). The funny thing is i only rmb people's french names and not their real names! Henrietta etait mon meilleure amie dans la classe et nous ont partage des moments formidables. Mes autres amies de classe etait et sont encore Christie et Erika. :) I ove a lot to him and mr quenot in sec 2, as they were the ones who ignited a passion for french. Maybe as they were french.. i find the singapore teachers very uninspiring. Then Henrietta left for the US and i did not have time to send her off, and now i have lost contact. Oh well, if u ever see this Henrietta, i
wanna say that u are a cool and funkey gal and thanks for everything!!

I have had so many moments of joy and heartbreak and sorrow in Cedar. Unbelievable that i will be ending the Cedar story soon, at the end of the year. And all my classmates and treasured friends will disperse and start attending jcs and polys. Thus i conclude that i have to make the best of the time we still have togather, as people come and go.

Then there were all the prefect functions,and seminars and Food Amazing Race in sec 2 with Regina, Sneha and Shakura. Mann we had fun!! Running around Chinatown and looking for clues.

And all the OAC and especially LTC'04 which was the best! I still have unforgettable memories of it.. even though the seniors were scary. I was Falcon group.. with Seal, Marion, Shireen, Arini, Bei Shan, Elaine, Wan Xin and some more great people. Haha Seal, so this was the first time i got to know uu. :) Memories, memories ehh. LOL.

Wow this entry is really lengthy.. i will try to post some photos next time. Am in school now. The three and a half years passed in a flash, much much faster than my primanry school years. Well, i am going to finish the race and score a good L1R5 of 10. Me is the mugger.

My mission- to do well in O's.
Action plan- mug like siao. My mum will make me anyway, since mrs Loy called about my inadequate results. Yesh. And I am going thailand for about a week in the hols too.

It will require some serious change in attitude to do well in o's, but me is gonna do it. And this is a random comment- i like the band Chinaski, especially the song Hura do Chebu.

Hura do Chebu, tak nekoukej
tady je zapad, zapad je divokej.
A buhvi proc tady ten peloton vedu,
sakra nekoukam, a jedu jedu jedu... jeste.

Its one of the rockiest and most addictive songs i have ever heard and i just love the past of the electric guitar and drums too. yeahh.. Or the second song about a happy tourist! lol.

All this talking is to just pass the time, now i will be getting back my report book and everyone is going to freak out. That's something to look forward to i guess.

2006-05-23T14:15:00.000+08:00

I have not blogged for too long and many many things have happened in these few days. Some might call it blogging addiction, but so far i am still able to manage..heh. Blogging is like, funn. *chuckle* Me is in my beloved Cedar computer lab and i have just finished my art lesson and painted most of the tail of the dragon.
Ms Jou gave me a shock when she told me that i will have to add some more layers.. then she looked at my face and said that i was doing fine so far.
I think Ms Jou is very nice contrary to what others say.. in fact i seem to like the teachers in school which not so many people like. It started with Mrs Noeline Lee in sec 2 during entreprise challenge and she was the first and i think the last teacher who wanted to pull me to church (i was not christian at that time). Haha. She's nice la.

But let me say the most AMAZING thing! whee! Churchwide prayer meeting!! Last friday i think.. I have to admit that i did not go into the audi expecting a lot to happen, but that is exactly what happened!A lot of things.XDD Wow. The atmosphere in that place was awesome and really anointed. I am sure that God spoke to a lot of people.. and he spoke to me too, or more of gave me pictures in my mind. (i wrote it all down later on a piece of paper).
And the MOST UNBELIEVABLE thing is that i came out feeling that something was different and all the bad emotions i had been fighting were totally gone, i could feel God's power blowing the wall inside my heart away. The wall which had prevented me from rising up and doing so many things. It was like a great white shimmering wave rolling through the congregation and it hit me with an enourmous burst and the wall just collapsed! WOWW~~
And there was also a soft furry pillow with purple hearts all over it.. Ahhh.. XDDD

In other words the prayer meeting was an IGNITED MOMENT!! woohoo.

God's love is amazing. When i was most down, He let me know that He loves me, in a magnificent way! Could feel something definitely shifted in another direction. And i feel so much FREER now!

PRAISE THE LORD!

2006-05-18T09:22:00.000+08:00

Hurhur i got back my mid year results recently and sufficient to say, it's not good and not at all up to my expectations. Wahh my maths and chemistry is horrible.. i let some ppl down. but i promise to study harder and improve a lot so that i can glorify God.. yeahh. Gonna whack and punch the maths until it obeys me XD!
Woo yesterday was so awesome ahh! Having QT with Joanne in church. Have to say that Joanne is really amazing and the presence of God just comes whenever i worship together with herXDD woohoo.

And thy eyes shalt be opened!

yeahh. Opened to see all the possibilities which are there and which i can make use of. It has taken me three long months of agony to realise this.. and a lot of money spent on handphone bills and parents chasing me away from msn. hahaha. But God has a way of touching people when they least expect it and need help the most, as i really felt that i needed divine intervention yesterday hahas. ahhh so cooll..

L O V E G O D A N D L O V E O T H E R S!

Me wants to rise up and me is going to rise up! Me loves and trusts God. XDD.
JESUS REIGNS!

2006-05-11T12:00:00.000+08:00

I woke up today to the cheerful chirping of the lil birdies outside.. opened my lil eyes sleepily.. and saw the ceiling of my room. And thats the start to my day! hehes. I am bored somewhat as exams are over, but at least i am going east coast later to rollerblade! sounds like fun ehh..

I desperately need more monehh! wahhh it seems to be eluding me, the lil naughty thing. And it runs away from me all the time.. ahh noo.. come back! If u dont come back i will catch u and u will not want to know what happens next.
So here i am sitting in front of the lil idiot box and not resting my eyes.. thats bad.. Sunny weather outside and there is someone mowing the grass downstairs, ah what a pleasant sound to hear the grass being mowed! Makes moi sleepy.

Had a dream yesterday night, dreamt that i was going from the mrt station with my friend and she wanted to tell me something, but kept postponing it so that when she finally started to say it, i woke up! Wahh this is annoying. hehe.
Wishing everyone a happy lunch hour.

2006-05-08T10:54:00.000+08:00

Lalala i am going to do my art prep today for my exam tomorrow.. Infiltrate! yeps. All the best to those ppl doing exams today, i am praying for y'all!! XD Tis a great feeling to know that in a few more days we will all be free and able to go out and enjoy life. Totally fun. yea.

True but a little contradictory..

Feel like i am going around in circles, like a hamster running in tat running wheel.. not moving forward. Just checked some posts on my old blog posted last year. It seems tat i was so much happier back then when ppl said i was so bubbly and lively. oh no, wats happening? Not again pleeaasee God.. Seems to have so many conflicting feelings, moodswings etc. Feels like being an ostrich with my head stuck in the sand, wanting everything to go away as i have not found the substance to face it yet. grrr. It's not tat i dun want to face it, i do, but fraid that my abilities are not good enough (uh huh), anyone can see that, it's quite obvious.

Facing my character and my half formed abilities, venting my anger and insecurity on others and leadership meetings.
Feeling abandoned by my friends.

It's just like this strangling fear.. nonono.. go away.. IN THE NAME OF JESUS!

Well. I can pray and all but it dont seem to fix anything. Guess i will just get lost in my art for a while, for the whole day perhaps (gotta finish it).

I want to be secure in myself and God, confident, cheerful, outgoing, lively, communicative, funny, a blessing to others, helpful, servant-hearted, bold, thick-skinned, loving, forgiving, generous.
Know that others can only help me this far, so i have to do the rest by myself and finally stop complaining. The problem is that whatever i do during the situation seems to turn out wrong, and when i ponder over it there seems like a million ways i could have done better. They seem like the logical things any leader would do. Am i just so small that i cannot do them?

Art, here i come. And may i do it well.

2006-05-04T15:40:00.000+08:00

And life is road i wanna keep going,
love is a river i wanna keep flowing,
Life is a road now, and forever wonderful journey.

I'll be there when the world stops turning.
I'll be there when the storm is through,
In the end i wanna be standing at the beginning with you!

Studying for exams is a job for a person with great perseverance, one who does not slack and lose focus and do other things like blogging for example. yea well.
Studying for tomorrow's emaths and biology exam,.. or i am GOING to study! XD It's so gladdening that the majority of the papers is already behind me, only have three more to go including art. And which is a fun exam! :)

Chemistry was tough, amaths was doable for the smart people and so so for those average ppl like moi, am proud of my english compo! XD, ss and geo was okay. I just so sad that there is no french mid year, then i could count my french marks into L1R5 and that would pull me up.. so now it's between chem and amaths. *sighs*
Love the morning pms! Always study not only for the results but most importantly for God! ^^

2006-05-01T11:37:00.000+08:00

WOOWW SO HAPPENING! RED RAIN IS COMING AT THE END OF MAY! AT KALLANG THEATRE!! So exciting.. XDD

Although i have not been to Red Rain concert before, i can sense it's going to be two awesome evenings! Yyayyy! And they are selling tshirts too.. me wants to buy, but have to save up money first. haha. I dun care, i wanna a tshirt, i am gg to save, cut down on the consumption of junk food and sweets (they are not good for me anyway!). And make an informed spending!! ^^

Must say the RedRain webby is breathtaking! kudos to those patient ppl who took the time to make it! whee.. rocks rocks rocks ahh. Love the music! YAYYYYY.

I am excited.

And high from yesterday pastor lia's birthday party! The concert was WOW and i feel amazed at all the various talents displayed and the organisation of the whole thing. amazing.
The concert was sophisticated, cool and funny! Dance, band, video,cool deco, accapella, isabel(XDDDDD), jace & sam, choir, il divo (^^^^^^), royyy! a BIGG birthday cake!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY PASTOR LIA!! and pastor lia gave me a hug..XD hehe.

"And my God is an awesome God, He reigns in heaven above with wisdom, power and love, my God is an awesome God!"

God is just amazing, how He moves in the service and heals people! Thank you God.. for all that you are and for how you shape my life! :))
Even though recently i have not been all that great, just now was impacted by the blog entry of someone i know, and i realise that God is a god who cares. And people in HoGC care. Hope it's not too tragic to have to see what other ppl feel to feel it myself. But i believe that it's a way to learn from others. And humble myself and put God back into the focus.

I'm coming back to the heart of worship
And it's all about You
It's all about You, Jesus
I'm sorry Lord for the things I've made it
When it's all about You
It's all about You, Jesus

Amen.

2006-04-26T09:36:00.000+08:00

It has been such a long time since i last posted on my blog! like, last ten days? so i am blogging now in school as there is an extended recess today! XD
Whee! yesterday was totally whee. my class actually roller-bladed for pe! that was so so much fun, and teaching yuyang and jessie how to roller skate.
But i still prefer ice-skating, its more.. how do i say.. fluent? haha. mastered the putting over of legs during turning to the left, still havent to the right.

EL was also so cool!! whee. Sadel and Arty were so amusing on the mrt train. Sadel can really act like gangster.. haha.XD Prayed with Lilin after EL, was like totally awesome in God's presence. Thanks Lilin! heh. Cant describe it man! ^^ Need more p.m.s!

XD! gonna have greater faith to rise up and reach out. And pray more too.:) Thank u to all the awesome people who support me!

2006-04-15T20:43:00.000+08:00

^^ Wanna say that i am a God-lovin gurl! whee hahas. God is awesome! Love His presence, it is like the sweet warming touch of..of.. God! :)It's amazing how God can come in the darkest of times and bring people up. Anyways, here are some photos from last year at Czech Republic:)

St Bartholomew cathedral!

From the outside..

..and the inside.

The Plzen train station!

I love trains!

and tramcars too.

A forest in winter.

Horsy!

2006-04-10T17:22:00.000+08:00

Strong chords cannot be broken.
The wonderful bzone word challenge team!:)

I will run to the altar
and catch the fire,
to stand in the gap
between the living and the dead.

Give us a heart of compassion
for a world without vision.
We will make a difference,
bringing hope to our land.

What a beautiful song this is! It just touches me heart so deeply and something stirs inside of me. oh what a beautiful beautiful song.. whenever i sing it i just feel something like comfort and sadness too. I just want to hug the song. hehe. I want to hug God most of all. Feel like i havent been spending much time with Him, and that i really need Him to help moi.
I know He is loving and powerful, but i have been feeling rather dry for the past few days, and going church is dangerously becoming something like a routine. I wanna be impacted! hurhur. yeah. Like i used to be in the first few weeks of coming to church. Wow, i was really hungry and getting impacted every week at that time! haa..

Part of me is crying out to Him for a change in my attitude, and part of me is being lazy. But i think the crying out part is stronger.. i am feeling somehow desperate now. Like i am stagnating or sth. I really have to improve my attitude towards some people and my fear of the future and responsibility which sometimes comes back. it's a lot better though than before. :)
Grr. I know complaining on my blog is pointless since it will not resolve anything and just make me seem like a small whiny moron. hehe. It's the actions that count.

I will run to the altar
and catch the fire..

Wow. The song never ceases to amaze me. The lyrics are perfect! And the music is so soothing and is like a medicine for the broken soul. :) I love it. I need to love more, and not just loving songs, but people too.

2006-04-02T20:51:00.001+08:00

Word Challenge!

Yesterday was word challenge! It was a really cool gameshow, and i loved supporting b zone!! wooo. i shouted myself lots hoarse while trying to utilize sng's voice projectionn method.. at least i was quite loud i think. XD and i like the chaw thar cheer(dunno how to spell). Loved the wheel o faith too, and was unbelievable that we got 2 silvers. I feel so happy for sylvia, chew theng, jomain and crystal that they were the ambassadors of our zone and won spirit-filled bibles each! Loveya all our bzone team! xxx

I sunday! Today! Business suits and skirts. Leonard and Melvin looked dashing! hehe:) it's fun to wear high heels once in a while and i enjoyed myself, think that everyone did. And God really moved, and a girl with paralysis and headache was healed by God's power through prayer! Wowww!! Amazing! :) God is a God of miracles. Fellowship after service was awesome too, the zone went together to meridian foodcourt to eat and it was fun!! I LOVE MERIDIAN FOODCOURT!<3 Today was a happy day, and i still have to do my french and bio homework.

Pastor preached about being planted in church and i feel that is very important. I pray that nobody i know in church will backslide! It's awesome to have so many friends in church and have the assurance that we will be together forever and not just the superficial 'friends forever' like the world does.

I can just see all the fun and exploits that i am going to share with my church friends and it's amazing. lOVE HEART OF GOD! XDDD

2006-04-02T20:51:00.000+08:00

Word Challenge!

Yesterday was word challenge! It was a really cool gameshow, and i loved supporting b zone!! wooo. i shouted myself lots hoarse while trying to utilize sng's voice projectionn method.. at least i was quite loud i think. XD and i like the chaw thar cheer(dunno how to spell). Loved the wheel o faith too, and was unbelievable that we got 2 silvers. I feel so happy for sylvia, chew theng, jomain and crystal that they were the ambassadors of our zone and won spirit-filled bibles each! Loveya all our bzone team! xxx

I sunday! Today! Business suits and skirts. Leonard and Melvin looked dashing! hehe:) it's fun to wear high heels once in a while and i enjoyed myself, think that everyone did. Fellowship after service was awesome too, the zone went together to meridian foodcourt to eat and it was fun!! I LOVE MERIDIAN FOODCOURT!<3 Today was a happy day, and i still have to do my french and bio homework.

Pastor preached about being planted in church and i feel that is very important. I pray that nobody i know in church will backslide! It's awesome to have so many friends in church and have the assurance that we will be together forever and not just the superficial 'friends forever' like the world does.

I can just see all the fun and exploits that i am going to share with my church friends and it's amazing. lOVE HEART OF GOD! XDDD

2006-03-28T19:35:00.000+08:00

Lol.

Today was a great day! Had el and it was like so fun and funny at the same time! Hee.. I was acting like a psycho in the impromptu skit and attempting to influence tw. And Liyana was a pap person from the govt who tried to reassure the public. The whole play was on the topic of hope, and i felt that all the actors in our group were very good! haha. Breakthrough in acting.

Acting might seem like it is easy but it's not! It's also about the space and motion and variety and how the actors relate to each other. ^^ Acting in el is really good as i helped me tremendously to quit being a timid little girl, hiding bashfully at the back of the stage- now i dun even mind acting psycho and making a fool of myself.I want to make everyone laugh! I find it rather amazing.
It's great for public speaking and voice projection too! lol. i am so so glad that i joined el. and the people there are real nice too. XDD unlike when i was in track back in my lower sec days. A mighty difference indeed. wheee..

I am feeling better. I just want to love everybody and be a good friend! haha. It's a pleasure to make people smile! I gotta learn how to care about others more and not only about myself all the time. And worrying what will they think of me, since that is completely and utterly senseless and pointless. haha. I love myself as i am, and i am going to keep on growing and rising up to challenge the challenges! XD

I am going to have faith that all the doubts which are flying to and fro around me and whizzing past my head are going to disappear with God's mighty power to demolish strongholds.. and that all the people who are having serious doubts will find the truth and live for it passionately. haha. Like someone i know. Prayer support would be very much appreciated.. yeah. Thank uu..XD

2006-03-22T18:29:00.000+08:00

Mraky pluji oblohou,
cerny svit me ozari.
Deprese je to jedine
co mam ted na blizku.
Proc?
Co jsem udelala spatneho?
Kamaradkam..
Doufam,ze brzo slunko vysvitne,
a ze vsechno zase bude tak jak ma byt.

Clouds float in the sky,
black shine comes down.
Depression is the only thing
which is close to me now.
Why?
What did i do wrong?
To my friends..
I am hoping, that soon the sun will shine,
and everything will be alright again.

..Gloom..

I am having weird feelings again. Whenever i think about THAT i just feel so painful and hopeless. Why am i like this, why cant i get over it? Others can get over it, why not me. Maybe it takes time, yeah definitely. I just feel like hugging someone and cry on her shoulders but thats stupid. Now i realised in this state of things i there are no shoulders i can cry on. Feeling lonely. Depressed.

That long ago happiness seems to be draining out and is making me sick. Now i am talking rubbish, but it's true to some extent. Everyone needs love.
Also wondering whether anyone reads my boring blog nowadays, nothing much interesting happens.

I had a talk with my mum about THAT, and she provided a good reason for her behaviour and how i am being a pest to her. Is it true?? Am i an irritating friend who always follows someone around like a whiny dog? Until the other person gets irritated, yeah. I am so so so confused. Now i am at a loss of what to do and how to behave. Should i act cool, indifferent, ignore, try to smile even though it's a fake smile, break down, hugg, avoid? Seems like nobody cares about me anymore, maybe i need to find some new friends and hang out with my classmates more. I feel that i have been neglecting them and they also deserve my affection.

It would be awesome to have a best friend and soulmate to share all my secrets with, one who would not avoid me. One who would be there when i am in this kind of mood. When will i get over it? I feel like a super super small person right now. A small person crumbles by the smallest disappointments and rejections. Sounds like me. I feel like telling someone but there is no one to tell to, and i dont want to bother her anymore. I have bothered her enough. Blehh. Enough of my ranting now!

Wheeww.. and i think i am eating too much. It just seems like the most pleasant thing to do right now. Just baked brownies today and put in too much oil. And did i mention that i am fat?

What a super sucky day! Yesterday too. Since mission trip.

I have realised that some things and people affect me a lot. Unfortunately.

"it's always the ones closest to you that you lose"

2006-03-19T21:23:00.000+08:00

Holidays are over.. school comes looming up..

The holidays have passed like a blur, and now is the last sunday of the holidays- oh no it is too sudden!! buhu. two art lessons, chem extra lesson. i happened to come late for that and ms chng scolded me. Actually i feel kinda sorry for her as she seems to be trying her best but the class is just not responding. well. Chemistry is boring and doubly boring with a boring teacher, so who can blame us.. i am meanXD sorry ms chng.

Oac was.. alrite. The activities were fun and i enjoyed them to some extent, but the company of the other leaders was getting me down. Lots of cliques. I actually only talked to a few people who were willing, like Wan Lin and Lilin. hehe.. Had a super late night bible study with mr sng, which ended at four am. Not bad i'll say. And we got free marshmallows too.XD I seriously need to talk more, even to those ppl who i dont feel like talking to. Force myself to talk..lol. Exercise my mouth muscles so that they dont become permanently clamped shut. OPEN MY MOUTH LAA!!

Had lots of free time in oac, so i busied myself with thinking how are all my church sisters and brothers doing on sat and sun. So i just zoned out and spent the whole afternoon like that. No other thing to do what, since all the rest at the first aid base were talking in chinese. I REALLY MISSED CHURCH! Church is da beste!XD whheee.

BINTAN BINTAN BINTAANNN!! hahahahaha. yeap. was really cool. Got to know quite a few ppl and had some laughs too.! The concerts in the evening were the rockiest imaginable and everyone was totaly blown away!!XDD wowww. all the indonesian youths were impacted and fell under the power of God as the indonesian pastor prayed for them. The awesome presence of God just filled that place.. and it was haha AWESOME!! XD I jumped so HIIIGHHH during praise and everybody else did too and just built the atmosphere. There was a shift from the bored atmosphere at first to the electricity-charged atmosphere at the end.. the worship team was awesome too, and some of them even have their newfound fanclubs!!XDD Lolooll. I have to laugh whenever i think about it.:) WOWW. ^^

But i also have some mixed feelings about myself during the course of bintan, like i am not a good friend, lowlife etc laa. Got really frustrated at one instance and felt like throwing things around the hotel room and at people. Why do some people seem so peacefully asleep when i am irritated. I know i am mean..but.. i apologised already. So it really came to my attention that i need to work on my problems and that they are not resolved yet. Cant be bitter at others when they dont want to talk to me and instead talk to other ppl. Is it my mentality or are the others ignoring me.. not like oac pleaasseee.. :"( I hate to tao people. But it is the natural reaction to rejection. Thank you wei tze, ( is that the correct spelling?? sorry) u are the best. I need to do exactly that. i cant keep struggling with the same problem my whole life, i would just die la.

Look to God and praise Him, because He loves me as i am. Even when others dont.

2006-03-01T15:56:00.000+08:00

Oh no i can just feel myself getting busier now as all the big and important things are drawing nearer, like Bintan, OAC and investiture and .. Hmph. Mdm Nur has had another crazy idea of doing an art exam next friday, and have to prepare for that with so many sketches and stuff. Irritating la. I share the idea of the class, that doing such a test only for the sake of having a mark on my progress report is rather pointless. And we are supposed to complete the olevel art coursework by june somemore.. *dies*
Art is fun sometimes, but tedious the rest of the time especially the preparation! hehs. Gonna pack my oac bag today!

It is just so tragic that i will be missing pastor's sermon on this sunday.. i am saadd. Really. I always look forward to service and bs. But rite now what i am looking forward to the most is BINTAANN!!!XDDD hahahaha i am going for a mission trip and it's gonna be so much fun! I am in the same room as Crystal. ^^ Cool.
My holidays are not going to be holidays already as i am getting additional homework for oac and even the leaders are not exempted, whose moronic idea was it? And doing all my art prep in two days is just impossible. But enough complaining.
Went out with Ishika today to parkview parade for lunchie, and i bought this rice with meat and vege, and the stall keeper was almost as stingy as cedar the mix and match stall auntie and uncle! Whyyyy.. So i ended up spending more money on another peanut pancake hahas.

Am in church now, but amaths and emaths homework is waiting! OHHH YEEEESSS... I just remembered that we got our differentiation amaths test back today. Hahah i am rather proud of myself. I managed to pass with 18/30! I know that sounds average, but is actually the fourth or fifth amaths test in my life which i passed. But gotta think BIGGER, and aim for an A, yes yes mr tay, i know.
I was freaked out when we got our olevel verification slip today, suddenly the olevels seem SOOO near ahhhh!! *Panics* Betta do something about my studies! yeasss.

2006-02-23T20:57:00.000+08:00

Peeks!

Cheesseeee!!!

Well hello diary. Musta say today i am in a better mood and i am trying to be nice, erm (ego)it's not that i am not nice usually, but sometimes i just get a moodeyy. yeshh..Which is irritating at times, and i don't want to make myself like i was back in lower sec, all lonely and wallflowerish and angry with everyone of my classmates. Actually it was not entirely their fault, but also mine to some extent. Blehh. Wadda bummer. Now we don't want that to repeat here do we? No definitely noott. I am talking to myself here, but it really lies on my heart that i don't move backwards but forward instead. I have been weird for the past few days and it is weird. Err. Haha. I am getting annoyed by some people for apparently no reason and that is weird again. Weird.. Oh not agaainnn..XD Weird is the name of the game baby.

I love reading my new Purpose Driven Life, was reading the chapter on worship today, and how we should not worship God only for the feeling of it, but really deep from our hearts. That touched me then.. It's good that i know my mistake. So can try and improve one:) Yupps.

I am lookin forward to tmr cg! Can't wait to hear Leonard preach and fellowship together, it's gonna be awesome! I hope we sing a song i know so that i can improve my singing too.. and worship God! Not only with the singing, but with everything i do. Psst, Tereza is coming too!XD Gonna feel impacted man! heehee.
And i am going for Bintan!! Hahahaha. Fe says it's gonna be fun so i can't wait. Gonna sacrifice my guitar moneyyeh, but i got a feeling it's totally gonna be worth it ahhhh!XDD My first time in Indonesia.. Funn. Lovey it. It's gonna be as great or greater than Youth camp one!! ^^ And i REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY loved youth camp one-BIG! haha. Make no mistake.

"My determined purpose is that i may know Him-that i may progressively become more deeply and intimately acquainted with Him, perceiving and recognising and understanding the wonders of His Person more strongly and more clearly."
-philippians 3:10 (amp)

2006-02-22T09:51:00.000+08:00

Loneliness..

Now i am just feeling a little lonely.. don't really have anyone to talk to. Mrs Lam commented today how sleepy i looked, that i always close my eyes. I am sleepy alright.. But the real reason bcuz i am sleepy is because i am lazy and do my homework at the last minute every night.
Yeah. Dunno la. There seems to be so many activities in school now, with the leader's investiture and the oac coming up. I feel like i am neglecting my class and schoolwork. Sad mood..well.

2006-02-21T23:18:00.000+08:00

~Haha here are some photos i took not so recently.. Will post more as the time goes by!XD!~

Heart Awards!

Looking weird and retarded..XD

Our particularly disgusting homemade drink..

2006-02-20T22:26:00.000+08:00

I am broke

Yes i am broke, and it is because of my handphone bill which is $140 this month. My parents are alright with it as long as i pay it all.. but i am i a deficit now some more.. sighs. At least i know how someone who is very poor feels like, so it also has a positive side. I must not spend so much money..! Gotta save! Think it is because of all those long conversations with my friends, which are very helpful, and i forget about the time in the process. Hahas. ^^ Gotta find some other means of communicating with them then. Ahhh..:"( The interesting thing is that i am not excessively depressed, but it seems like the normal things that happen. Thats good..

Woohoo!
I finally thought of another idea for my art olevel coursework.. since my previous idea was kinda bland and i didnt know what to do, i think this idea is better! I am thinking of a chessboard with rival chess pieces, which are battling one another. Since the whole world knows that i like horses, i shall paint a horse there too! XDD I should be researching on chessboards now, oops. haha. But now it seems easier, since i have a more solid idea. (:

2006-02-16T14:16:00.000+08:00

Today everyone seems to be in a weird mood. And it is just too weird to see everyone like this. Problems seem to sprout out of nowhere.. aihhaaaa. I just feel a burden for these people. They need God's love.. Yes. i need God's love too. Cause God can see everything that is going on and happening to us. He can see everything. All that is going on in our hearts and on the outside. GOD!! WE NEED YOU! Amenn. I just feel a love towards everyone and want the best for everyone.. but how do i do it? Ppl have different ideas of how love should be shown to them, others dont respond, still others get angry, and everything may seem hopeless. I just pray for all those who need God and do not know how to get close to Him, or are backsliding. I LOVE TO HELP! I just want to give them the love that God is giving me, lead them to God.
Dear beautiful God, please give me a revelation of how to help. Where there is hatred, let me sow love;where is doubt, FAITH! . Where there is insecurity, LOVE FOR GOD. Amen.

2006-02-14T10:29:00.000+08:00

Valentine's Day!

L is for the way you look at me, O is for the only one i see.. etc etc haha. Me and Becky sang it during 2 period pe lesson in front of mr jimmy neutron chan who happened to teach my sister's class pe at the moment. ^^ Everyone just loves to make fun of him. Too easy, lol! My class is so nicee, they gave me presents and i got lots of sweets and chocolates, and tmr the secret mission in 4A of eating the chocs starts, in a little candlelit romantic room,sheltered from the outside by rubbish bags. Oh i just cant wait!! Mrs Loy is so nice to allow! XDD Love u mrs Loy! I gave u a choc too remember?? haha.
To whoever comes to this blog, i just want to wish you a very loving and joyful Valentine's! Love you all lots. XD Hugg.
LOOOVEEEEEE

2006-02-06T10:57:00.000+08:00

Wow i am speechless!!

Oh yes, totally!! Yesterday's sermon was awesome awesome and more awesome! What a great way to come back to church after such a long cny break.. and i was almost dying at that time since i was really starving-for pastor's sermons and the church people and all of us praising God. Haha praising God at home is great but it cant compare to the atmosphere in church! XD Anyway did i mention that i was very happy and high yesterday?? Yes i was haha!! I brought my sister and Kenny, and Kenny totally enjoyed it.. ahh ahh so awesomeee. Told me that HoGC rocks and that he really enjoyed himself and that the message on pride was really good too.
woowww. And the cedarian feature was cool and great and fun and .. haha, i am sure u ger my point. I was the one clicking! XDDD And there was no glitches, and i was on time too. Have to admit that my hands were shaking especially for the first service. Pamela told me not to touch the mouse and i was scared that my hands would just fly there and touch it.. So i had a hard time suppresing the shaking.. :) But was great. Fedora's testimony was also impactful, and overally was XDDDD.
Yeah stayed with Fedora for the second service too, and i felt really honoured to be sitting in the first row!! Never sat there before. The atmosphere in the 2nd service was much more open and energetic and woww. Somehow i just felt very relieved that i did not have to take care of any new friends and just enjoy myself with Fedora, yeah. And i was super hyper and jumped and jumped like siao.. and almost shouted myself hoarse, loving every second of it, esp the song everything's alright. That is fast becoming one of my fav songs! Lurvveeee church!!XDD And i just cant wait for vision sundayy!! XDD yayy. Thank u God for this awesome service!

2006-02-03T20:11:00.000+08:00

A little later..

Well okay. Just had another illuminating conversation with Fidorka XD Povidali jsme si o tom jaky to bylo kdyz jsem byla v Cechach a co jsem tam vsechno delala za nesmysly. A ona mi taky rekla neco o sobe, ze mela stejny problemy jako ja! Porad mi to nak nejde do hlavy.. Just felt very kinda sad this afternoon for no reason or maybe the reason was very well hidden, so that even i did not manage to discover it? So then i was just sitting in the bus and thinking about nothing in particular. This was not that overly depressed mood, no, this was more subtle. and melancholic. Basically i think was that i was just feeling weird about my life and all. Think i understand now, and i am feeling better. Yeahs. Gotta really really trust God and just conquer my fears whatever they may be. Talking to Fe really helps:)

If you do not stand firm in your faith, you will not stand at all -isaiah 7:9b

2006-02-03T14:42:00.000+08:00

Does it appear so?

I am living normally. Can't really recall what to write now.. just blogging for fun!! Maybe i will recall as time goes on.. Yesterday at french i was in my stupid mood, and really felt stupidXDD in the fun way of course. Lame la, but i could not even remember how to say 'went' in the past tense and only remembered after a long few seconds. Fun. My french classmates totally rock! Madame is nice too, she let's us eat in class XD and i am taking the most possible advantage of it! Oh those choc pillows are just so delicieux.. *drools* hahas.

Finished da powerpoint proper. ^^ And now i am counting down the hours until sunday:) Kinda yeah. It's difficult to get people come and watch though.. how can they be so busy on SUNDAYS?! And that does not involve church! Hmmm.. how interesting..loves sarcasm. *_*

Another thing which is bugging me rather is that i can't get the 'comments' up and runnning for this blog! When i tried at first, it was okae but then it decided to go on a strike and promptly abandoned ranks. Hope that well i can get it up somehows.

I like my new blog and i like the tagboard and i like the links. Since livejournal did not have. So it's very new and exciting to me! ^^ Yay. Loves exciting stuff. hehe.

Reading that Creative Mind book Fe lent me.. it's rather good.. Wow would be great if it really helped me to overcome my strongholds!! No i am not going to live in dreams.. correction- it is helping me to overcome! XD haha. Go Lucie!! You are a very nice girl, u can do anything! Yeah. That's rite. I can do anything with God. Yes amenn! And don't feel sad about whatever is troubling uu.... thanggg. What am i doing talking to myself?! Hmmm. Dunno la. Really.. I need to reflect, reflect on something important or dunno whether it is important, i dont even know what it is! Ermm. Weird. Well.

I need church. And i just need to rise up. Even trifling matters can turn into mountains if they are not stopped in time. That's ritey.

Potrebuju vic lasky, a samozrejme vic sebevedomi. God is all.

I am dying.. nearly

2006-01-31T20:52:00.000+08:00

Yeah that' right, i am about dying from an overdose of amaths- five loong worksheets on permutation nonsense to be handed in to tay tmr. Totally unreasonable.. er maybe i should have done it like, long time ago, but i am the kind of individual who would leave things at the last minute. That's me. And that's bad too! *cries*

Haha powerpoint is ready!XDD Cool man! Love it, luurrrveee it..the song too. Not Ashamed. Totally blown away. Haha jiayou powerpoint, see u on sunday! Let everyone be blown away by Cedar!! XDD yay!

Waah haahaa i am soo happy ah, tmr is the grand reopening day of HoGC! Church withdrawal symptoms are already raging haha. What a long-awaited reunion..XDD Can't wait!

Hearts and Diamonds. That's a long way from Valentina! Or Mia Rosa for that matter. hehe. Gonna design des cartes d'invitation. Funnnn! Yes, Valentine's gonna be awesome. Breakthrough! XDD

Finally!XDD

2006-01-29T17:30:00.001+08:00

So ya this is it, my new blog.. haha. It took me a long time as i am real bad at this kind of thing. Eventho the layout is not mine, i did some tweaks here and there. I did the fire also.XDD Woo. The good thing about blogspot is that i can have links!! Which lj did not have:(

And now finally i will get down to my art and amaths homework! Yayy.. er. What am i saying? I should be bored, yeah and i am. I am trying to make myself happier in a lame way.

Haha i miss church. Today is monday already, and i have not been in church for soo long already. I just cant wait for end of this week!!XDD And by the way, i find this quote very relevant to myself rite now:

This is the true joy of life:the being used up for a purpose recognized by yourself as a mighty one; being a force of nature instead of a feverish, selfish little clot of ailments and grievances, complaining that the world will not devote itself to making you happy.
-G.B.Shaw

Yeah. Some people may know what i am talking about. Look to God, not men!